Extravagant Worship
Isn't it interesting how we so often focus on extravagent worship? On giving our best? On having a spirit of excellence. What a wonderful intent! What a passion and a heart for God! To see our church turned from stagancy to dynamic worship! What a vision, what a dream. So when its time for us to lead worship, we choose songs that we think would really get the church moving and jumping. Just like the ones Hillsongs, Vineyard and City Harvest Church leads...

But there's one problem... We don't have the expertise of the bands that they have. We plan everything nicely but we forget the limitations of our musicians. And this is quite common for churches that work on a volunteer basis. So our music cannot be pulled off the way we want it to and no matter what we do, we cannot get it to sound the way it does on the CD. And so we get discouraged... We start to wonder what went wrong in our preparation. Didn't we pray hard enough? Were there some unconfessed sins? Maybe we weren't living right or missed something that God was trying to tell us. Honestly, it could be any of these things... But one important thing we could take note of is that the music just sounds like crap. People simply cannot worship if they are cringing to an out of tune singer, or instrumentalists playing the wrong notes, or a drummer going out of beat. Its simply distracting.

There are ways to minimise things like these from happening. Knowing what you want to achieve during a practice and communicating it to the band can be really effective. My personal favourite is choosing familiar songs. Although songs can be simple, it really frees up a musician to worship. Personally, I find that its better for the congregation and the musicians to worship without struggling with new chords, melodies or rhythms. Its gets people's focus off the song and onto what really matters. God Himself.

Of course, I'm not saying that we restrict ourselves to the same songs week in, week out. There are times where we can and should inject freshness into a worship set list. But there are limitations to consider. Can the band master the song in one sitting? Can the sound on the CD be recreated by the church band and if it can't will it still minister to the people? Can the congregation get into the song quickly?

There are people who focus too much on the technical aspects of worship. But focusing only on the spiritual aspect of a worship set can turn it into an aural disaster. God's grace and love may cover mistakes but shouldn't it be our jobs to provide a atmosphere of worship? Excellence isn't striving for things we cannot or have not achieved but to give the best of what we have and what we know.

Worship and the Gospel isn't driven by trends and fads. It is driven by the people who love God. Music and methods may change and evolve over the years but at the centre of it all lies a pure simple truth. Its always about who we worship. Everything is done to enhance our worship but never at the expense of our relationship with one another. There is power in worship. But the power overflows from the lives of the composers, lyricists and musicians. The music & worship is only as anointed as the lives of those playing, singing and leading. The worship session will be empty & dead if our relationship with God is empty & dead.

We have strive to improve, of that there is no doubt. But its has to be done during practice. Not during the worship itself. If the song cannot be done comfortably during the single practice that most church bands have, it shouldn't be done at all... The aim isn't to play all the songs that the worship leader prepares. The goal is to usher people into the presence of God. And if that means cutting songs, or people for that matter, it has to be done. Excellence doesn't mean impressing people with skill but giving our all in worship. When we worship while we play, we draw people in to worship WITH us.
| written by daryl - 7 May 2006 |

Booking in to an empty bunk is quite an experience. Its as if you were the only one left after the Rapture. You see helmets on the floor, slippers & boots strewn about, grey army t-shirts and uniform draped over chairs, half empty "subway" cups. You think to yourself, "They must have left in a hurry!!"

Its good to be alone when you're in the right frame of mind. Especially after a weekend with almost every friend you have. So there I was, relaxing in the bunk. Watching "Boston Legal" which, in my opinion, is the coolest & funniest show since Seinfeld. Later I switched over to the World Cup Match between England & Ecuador. It was a typical, uninspired England performance where they struggled to win by that single Beckham goal. It was lights out for me at the final whistle but I found that after I got into bed, I couldn't sleep. I just lay there with my eyes closed but my mind was racing with all the things that I care about. I think it was almost 3am before I dozed off into a dream about me not being able to sleep...

Am I doing what it takes to follow Christ? If it came down to the fact that He wanted me to remain in Singlehood so as to fulfill His plan, would I obey? There are so many things I'm willing to give up... Namely money, time & effort...

"But God!! Isn't it my right to have a partner?"

But God reminds me about all the times that I sing about living for Him. About giving my heart & my soul. Isn't God's promises enough? Its never been about my finding the right one. Its so much more than that. He reminds me that He has the best plan for me but I keep jumping the gun, getting myself hurt and wallowing in a pit that I dig for myself. God reminds me that He has a plan for me. To make me strong emotionally & spiritually. And there is reassurance, peace, joy & strength to overcome everything that stands before me.

~~~ Dusk & Summer ~~~
She smiled in a big way, the way a girl like that smiles
when the world is hers and she held your eyes
out in the breezeway down by the shore in the lazy summer
And she pulled you in, and she bit your lip, and she made you hers
She looked deep into you as you lay together quiet in the grasp of dusk and summer

And she combed your hair, and she kissed your teeth
and she made you better than you'd been before
She told you bad things you wished you could change in the lazy summer
And she told you, laughing down to her core, so she would not cry as she lay in your lap
She said "nobody here can live forever, quiet in the grasp of dusk and summer"

She said, "no one is alone the way you are alone"
and you held her looser than you would have if you ever could have known
Some things tie your life together, slender threads and things to treasure
Days like that should last and last and last

But you've already lost
when you only had barely enough of her to hang on
| dashboard confessional |

I have had the most opportunity to blog during the past 2 weeks but the least desire to. I think its because I've been living according to German Time because of the world cup. Its been one heck of a journey. But the bad news is that I haven't been spending ANY time reading the bible or praying so far. Thats not a good thing. So I think this week in camp would be good for me as it'll free me from most distractions I have at home (ie. Computer games, TV). For now its back to camp. I'm hoping I'll be able to get out on wednesday for the Paul Baloche Worship Seminar. I already have the ticket!

People are going to chide me for being like a school girl for what I'm about to write but I feel that I have to write it anyway. There's something oddly reassuring about being with friends. Whether they be from church, school, army or just people you chat with online. What matters the most is that they are around and that they enjoy being in your company and vice versa. Its during these times where they just won't let you feel down or depressed because they are genuine and they let you forget yourself and who you're "supposed" to be. Its people like these who accept you for who you are, forgive you for your mistakes and even use those mistakes to learn and grow. These are the special people and they are the people I love. You guys know who you are.

Thank You Jesus that my future is secure in You. Thank You that all I need to do is to be sure that I'm walking beside You daily. You make me blameless. You make me righteous. You are my hope. Thank You that You turn a blind eye to my worthlessness. I will trust You at ALL times and I will not be moved by people or circumstances. I will be Spiritually, Mentally & Emotionally as well as Physically rooted to You... My rock, my strong tower, my refuge...
Amen.

::: Verse of the Day :::
For the LORD God is a sun and shield;
the LORD bestows favor and honor;
no good thing does he withhold from those whose walk is blameless.
| Psalm 84:11 |

Dear God... I failed again. Intentionally...

Please be patient with me as I keep trying.

I've been thinking about how hopeless a romantic I've made myself become. About how I've idealised having a relationship with someone and how it would make me complete. Well, maybe not complete, because I'm already complete in Christ. But it would fill up something that I feel is lacking in my life. There's the problem summarised in that sentence right there. I feel that there is something I lack and therefore I feel as if I'm incomplete.

There is truth in the fact that I'm alone and the truth is it makes me feel depressed. But there is a deeper truth that I'm pressing in to find. The deeper truth is that I lack nothing. I have all I need in Christ! I have fullness of joy in all circumstances... Not because there are joyful circumstances (sometimes there are!), but because I count it all as joy. The importance is that I rejoice in what matters. That is what builds my faith, that is what destroys the distractions. Its these distractions that hinder prayer. Prayer is effective and powerful. Thats a given. The devil cannot stop the power of prayer but he can distract the person who prays. He can shout lies in your ear so that you don't hear the whispered answers to your prayer. I want to break out of that cycle. I want to be listening to the voice of God instead. I want my relationship with God to be strong and stable.

Joy joy joy... I prayed in tongues on the way to church this morning and I prayed for joy in my life. Because I constantly fall back into the rut of feeling miserable. This morning was especially difficult because I woke up with a thought/dream/idea in my head. That I'd buy her coffee, the type that comes in glass bottles, for her late night studying. And it made so much sense till I started asking myself... Why can't I just leave it be? Its not as if she doesn't know how I feel. Why do I still pursue that wisp of a dream?
Why indeed...

On a brighter note, the world cup has started and I'm enjoying the whole atmosphere of it. It isn't as fun as when church friends used to come over for the big matches but hopefully that can be arranged after the group stages. The irritating thing is that I won't be able to catch the matches on weeknights because I'll be in camp. I'm beginning to get too used to civillian life again. As my ORD date approaches, I begin to feel a sense of muted excitement. As if I'm afraid that something bad might happen before I ORD. Thats always the case with me and I need to learn to stop worrying about this.

Worship practice as usual today... I had slight problems playing one of the songs that Jean wanted. There was a change of rhythm in the song and I had problems getting it right. The problem was that it was a simple change and I knew that it was 'do-able'. Thats the thing about being in band or any group where people must work together. One person or instrument out of tune makes it all sound bad. The thing I have to learn is to be more assertive in playing. I have to be in-time and confident about it.

You were never a mistake...

"The Christian must throw himself - with all the abandon of a perfect, self-emptying faith and a self-consuming zeal - into his work for the salvation of men. Hearty, heroic, compassionate and fearless prayer."
| E.M. Bounds |

God needs us to pray out His will. For things like revival, revelation of the Word and for power to be poured out in the church. A church without prayer will not have any glimpse of divine power. Heights reached without prayer will never rise to the glorious heights that god has planned for us.

John Wesley said:
"Give me one hundred preachers who fear nothing but sin and desire nothing but God and I care not a straw whether they be clergymen or laymen; such alone will shake the gates of hell and set up the Kingdom of Heaven on earth. God does nothing but in answer to prayer."

There seems to be so much potential and power just waiting to be unlocked through prayer. Its like a treasure chest just waiting to be opened. Maybe if I were to start praying like God instructed. A daily thing that would require discipline and order in my life. After all, if anything required my full attention and focus, this would be it. If there was anytime to get serious with God, this would be it.

In Paul's letters to the churches, he keeps saying that he does not stop praying for them. That he prays for them at all times. Thats where the power lies. So few people linger it and thats precisely why so few people experience it. Because we do not dare to take the chance. The sickening mentality that we'll lose out is the very idea that the devil wants us to have. If we look at the apostles, we can see how they laid themselves out in prayer for God's people! How they put God in full force into their churches by their praying. It was the fervor and insistence of their prayer which complemented their passion and made their ministry effective and miraculous.

To keep the physical body healthy, we must feed the body good, healthy food and restrict the intake of things that are harmful to the body. The same rules apply in having a healthy mind and a healthy spirit. We need a steady intake of God's word through prayer & meditation on scripture. This gives the Christian power & authority to take control of his life. In following the example of the apostles, I have decide to implement several rules to discipline myself in prayer. This would be a way of training myself for bible school. Two and a half hours of spending time with God with at least one hour spent in the early hours. This will be the beginning of 'The Prayer Project'.

Paul the Apostle said:
"I care very little if I'm judged by you or any human court; indeed, I do not even judge myself. My conscience is clear, but that does not make me innocent. It is the Lord who judges me.
Therefore we wait till the Lord comes... At that time each will receive his praise from God"
| 1 Corinthians 4:3-5 |

A deep lesson can be learnt from this. What people say weighs heavily on me. I used to claim that I didn't care about what people said or thought. But now I realise that they actually do make an impression. As I've mellowed out over the years, I understand that it is important to take into account other people's feelings and their situations. Because what you do & what you say affects others.

Having said that, I feel that I've let myself be carried away by the comments of those around. I mean, who doesn't like to hear a word of praise for a job well done? It is always a welcome thing. But I've become too reliant and desperate for these words of encouragement that it becomes a necessity and takes the place of what I strive for. It becomes the primary goal I lose the anointing because the focus is wrong. It is important to remember that in whatever we do, we only need to please God and to obtain His approval.

~~~ Pearl ~~~
You feel alone, your friends have flown
You're afraid of the truth
When you think of who you are
And who you're meant to be

You cry out to a friend who will understand
The arms of God who can take your hand
And in your darkest fear
A voice whispers in your ear

You are so precious
You are so wondrous
A pearl, once a grain of sand
Held in the Father's hand
Becomes a precious stone
You'll never alone
He can fill your emptiness
He can be your happiness
You are a pearl
| lounge worship 2 |

I'm really looking forward to what life would be after I ORD. Right now, I'm too attached to home and all its luxuries. Had to force myself to go out to meet dennis for lunch this afternoon. Had a nice chat with him over chicken rice that took 20 minutes to arrive. Made our way down to Jean & Natalie Francois' house for some captain's ball training. I didn't actually plan to join in the games cos I still wasn't feeling well but on the spur of the moment, getting sweaty didn't seem like such a bad idea. I daresay that my talent isn't in sports that require me to handle the ball. I still prefer soccer with my whole being. Some of the younglings seem to be pretty good at basketball though.

I have this knack for distancing myself. I don't mind being by myself I guess. I've gotten too used to it. Nights out alone, movies alone, dinner alone. I just find that I get strange looks everytime I say that I prefer to be alone. Friends aren't a bad thing... Just that there are certain factors which I don't know I would how to react to and to prevent awkwardness, I avoid it totally.

Exercise TS starts tomorrow. I'll have to leave after playing for 2nd service. Its not so bad... Last exercise before I ORD. Final burst of fire!!!

~~~ Lines in Sand ~~~
Sometimes a struggle builds you somehow
Tears you down, Leaves you dead
Time will pass, back to life
Hand on Shoulders, Bigger, Better
Sunday night, Tempers flair
Fights erupt and trickle down
Apologies, threats and lies
Backing down, compromise

While this city burns
These wounds will heal
You'll find your way
The lines in sand
Become a proving ground
In time, you'll find
'Who can top who' is their life

Sometimes a struggle leaves you fragile
Shaken up, Shotgun shy
With heartache past, and open eyes
You'll come back stronger, Bigger, Better
Maybe this time, Things will change
Brand new day, Forgive, Forget
Time has past, back to life
Hand on Shoulders, Bigger, Better

Only you with time can define your life,
Only you with time can define your life,
Can define your life, It's yours.
| sparta |

I'm home again. I'm still getting used to blogging again. I sometimes feel so reluctant to write but its a discipline I have to instill in myself. Just like prayer and reading the Word.

Getting called back to camp when you're supposed to be on MC isn't very fun. But I guess it feels good to be needed and it feels good that to some people, you're still of value. I spent most of the day trying to do directory replication. The whole thing was made more complicated because of the state of some of the other unit's servers. Some of the harddisks haven't been reformatted in years making the Operating Systems super laggy. Another new technology that we're aiming to utilise is the V-Sat. Its a marked improvement from the Trunk Communication System which was like using a 28.8 kbps modem to play warcraft 3.

I've made a new promise to God and so far its been going alright. There's so much more to achieve in all this. Praying and growing in my relationship with Him is my number one priority. Not because I'm going to bible school but especially because I'm going to bible school. Its hard to explain. For the past few years, God has been telling me to pray. Time and again, He has said... "Your work is to pray, daryl." I've not been very obedient and I've not grown as much as I could have these 2 years.

I've come to realise that my work to pray was not as a favour to others... or to the church or the pastor. It was for myself as a child of God. For my benefit, my growth, to attain my maturity, to walk out my path. God was telling me that my job was to talk and listen to Him.

Its inexplicable how we are blind to what we have and see only what we lack.

Will coincidences never cease? For the record, I started updating this blog on my own accord and I was not influenced by external factors.

Anyway, I'm on a 2nd day of my 2 day MC and my platoon mates called me to go back to camp to help them with some directory replication. Its a complicated term for a simple task of copying email addresses from one server to another. But apparently, they aren't able to do it because of some complications. I don't know how I can be of help but I guess I'll just have to go all the way back to the west end. I wanted to go see the doctor to get one more day of MC but the clinic is closed till 2pm. I'll just have spend tomorrow in camp I guess.

The characteristic of ALL great men of God is the fact that they spend hours in prayer. I want to spend hours in prayer not because I want to be great. But because I love You. I will start a 6am prayer session from 9 June. The day after the end of 'Exercise TS'. Its a tall order but I have no choice but to take this path. Its all or nothing in following Christ.

Its back to camp for now. See you friday night...